Old age self centredness

The usual definition of narcissism is self-love. We tend to think of this as intrinsic to the personality or temperament of an individual; in which case context is irrelevant. But in old age temperament cedes to context. What is common in old age, as friends and family members die, is self-absorption. It is as if survival is the greatest achievement and this is always the topic for the self. What is it to be absorbed in oneself in this way?

The consequence of this absorption for some is the creation of a paranoiac system. That is one based on hostility, hostility towards others as a way of still feeling special. For example, “ The nurses here are stealing things from me.” This ensures the centrality of the self. Erecting a system like this is seen as the only way to maintain the survival of the self-image in a contracting personal world.

There is an alternative process, which can be thought of as narcissistic depletion. Here over time the narcissism diminishes as the individual does. He/she may give up, lose energy, feel abject and hopeless. This may take a long time, but it is the image of someone dying as you witness their leaving. They are here, and then gone. Without a word. No fuss!
“Slipping away” as Billy Connolly says.

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