When we thought about the blog, we ignored gender issues. One of us came upon the following and realised the significance of our mistake.
"Looking at John it seemed to her that men are forever alone. Men,she said to herself, are not like women. Their aloneness is in their souls. In their deepest place, men remain solitary all their lives. No matter how well loved they know themselves to be by a woman, men are always on their own. We never touch them in the place of their solitariness. John is alone now, lying here beside me sleeping. And when he reads his books, then he is also alone. He looks in those old dead books for the answer to his own aloneness, seeking a confirmation of his solitariness in the thoughts of other men, hoping to hear in their thoughts an echo of his deepest aloneness. And when he meets it, he says to himself with satisfaction, There! I knew it already. And when he drinks too much wine he embraces his aloneness as if it were a punishment that he has deserved. And when he goes out on the Seine at night with Andre in his boat and they fish together and share their friendship, then they are alone in their hearts and they know it and it afflicts them, and they can't be honest with each other. And their dishonesty twists their thoughts around each other and around their friendship and makes them dissatisfied, and they withdraw into themselves and into their solitariness for the grain of solace that is there for them. Solitariness is man's only truth. And that is the difference between us and them.But the woman who has a child growing inside her body is not alone. The man has no companion for his soul. He is always looking for something he can't have. He is always discontent. But the woman who is a mother has a companion for her soul. Woman is not singular, she thought. Man is singular and always remains so." Miller writes elsewhere in the same book that the woman who does not have a child has a 'magical daughter' who is with her always.
From Alex Milller - Lovesong pp287-8
"Looking at John it seemed to her that men are forever alone. Men,she said to herself, are not like women. Their aloneness is in their souls. In their deepest place, men remain solitary all their lives. No matter how well loved they know themselves to be by a woman, men are always on their own. We never touch them in the place of their solitariness. John is alone now, lying here beside me sleeping. And when he reads his books, then he is also alone. He looks in those old dead books for the answer to his own aloneness, seeking a confirmation of his solitariness in the thoughts of other men, hoping to hear in their thoughts an echo of his deepest aloneness. And when he meets it, he says to himself with satisfaction, There! I knew it already. And when he drinks too much wine he embraces his aloneness as if it were a punishment that he has deserved. And when he goes out on the Seine at night with Andre in his boat and they fish together and share their friendship, then they are alone in their hearts and they know it and it afflicts them, and they can't be honest with each other. And their dishonesty twists their thoughts around each other and around their friendship and makes them dissatisfied, and they withdraw into themselves and into their solitariness for the grain of solace that is there for them. Solitariness is man's only truth. And that is the difference between us and them.But the woman who has a child growing inside her body is not alone. The man has no companion for his soul. He is always looking for something he can't have. He is always discontent. But the woman who is a mother has a companion for her soul. Woman is not singular, she thought. Man is singular and always remains so." Miller writes elsewhere in the same book that the woman who does not have a child has a 'magical daughter' who is with her always.
From Alex Milller - Lovesong pp287-8
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